References to sex are littered in the various forms of media we consume every day. We read books, watch shows, listen to the news, and hear stories our friends tell us. All the while we never think about the fact that a lot of mainstream media actively socialises us into constructing one idea of what ‘Sex’ is: That is intimacy in which orgasm is reached through penetration.
Why is penetrative sex traditionally seen as the only ‘real’ and authentic way to ‘do sex?’ Well, there are thousands of social, cultural, scientific, and historical processes that have taught us to think of penetrative sex as the be-all and end-all of intimacy. Suffice it to say that it’s no one’s fault, and we won’t bore you with that right now! But penetrative sex is one of the most beige activities to do in the bedroom.
The last few decades of research into sexual pleasure, mainly female pleasure, has shown that orgasm is not always reached through penetration. Approximately 90% of women report orgasm from some form of sexual stimulation. However, most women do not routinely (and some never) experience an orgasm solely from sexual intercourse (1).